Alone. In my own mind, that’s how I felt. I had lost my best friend and even though I was now placed in a house with family members, they felt like strangers. For five years of my life, all I had known was living in that house with my Mother, my father, his children and wife. All that I could remember, however, was my Mother. Everything else, I suppose, was suppressed.
The Devil Wears an Orange Jump Suit
So later that day on April 16, my father turned himself in. His exact reasoning for why he did what he did was that the devil made him do it. Today, it really upsets me that he wouldn’t hold himself accountable for his own actions. Back then my response was just “Yeah right!”
I remember having to go to court when my father was being sentenced. I would sit there with my Grandmother and stare at my father. Whenever details about my Mother would have to be told, I would be taken out of the court room. One time when I was actually in the room, my father looked at me and beckoned with his hands for me to come to him. I was really disturbed by this and told my Grandmother. That would be the last day I sat in court. What was wrong with this man?
My father was finally sentenced and at first we felt justice had been served. That is until we heard how much time he would be in prison. I don’t really remember the exact amount of time that he got, but I do know he was out of jail by the time I was in high school. So maybe less than 10 years. To coin a phrase from the recent Casey Anthony trial, definitely a miscarriage of justice.
I’m sitting in a car with my Mother in the middle of the night. We are talking and she is looking at me as a loving mother would. Suddenly a huge tornado forms and comes slamming down the street. The tornado rips the doors off the car and begins to lift my Mother up as I hold onto her in an attempt to bring her back down. Finally the tornado snatches her out of my grasp to leave me in the car, all alone….
This is the nightmare that I would constantly have as a child. Each time I would wake and run into my Grandmother’s room crying, “I miss my mom…”
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