What is a real man? This is a question that younger and older men alike often ask themselves and try to seek answers to. A real man is also something that most women will say they want as their spouse, especially after having dealt with what they would describe as boys.
So, is a real man the macho man who loves sports and grunts when addressed? Or maybe he is the powerful businessman that imposes his influence wherever he goes. This isn’t to say a real man cannot be these things, but I would think that a real man would transcend above these stereotypes into something greater.
The Quest for Authentic Manhood is a program created by Dr. Robert Lewis to help men truly find out what authentic manhood is all about and plan constructive ways to lead down that path. We have hit a pivotal point in the program and I thought I would share with my fellow-men what we have learned are the four key points to being a real man. Women reading this may want to take notes and share this with the men in their life. So without further ado…
A Real Man:
1. Rejects Passivity
Most people are familiar with the story of Adam and Eve in the Bible. Eve is tricked by the serpent into eating the forbidden fruit from the Tree of Knowledge which causes the downfall of humanity that we live in today. What many people don’t realize is that Adam watched everything take place and stood by idly! When Eve was talking to the serpent, he listened. When Eve went to the tree, he followed. When Eve said to eat, he ate.
You see, one of the most important aspects of being a real man is rejecting passivity. This means that a man must be able to take the initiative in many situations. This could be with aspects of his own life, his family, his job or personal relationships. A man who sits around twiddling his thumbs while the world is falling apart around him is not a real man.
2. Accepts Responsibility
Accepting responsibility is another huge thing that separates a boy from a man. When a male is a child, he does not have many responsibilities. Most of his needs are met by his parents, teachers, family members, etc. As a male gets older, he needs to be able to accept responsibility for his own actions. This is one reason many women are angry with their spouses. Some men will help bring a child into this world and then not accept the responsibility of taking care of his family.
It doesn’t just boil down into family. A real man must realize that everything he does in life could have an effect on others. From how he treats people even to how he carries himself.
3. Leads Courageously
A man must be confident in his ability to lead. He must also be able to convince others to follow him. This isn’t the same as being cocky or arrogant. This is possibly knowing that the path ahead may be dangerous or unfamiliar, but being able to step out in front to guide everyone else.
4. Expects a Greater Reward
This is probably the most important aspect of being a real man. A man must learn how to put others before himself and give of himself wholly. This includes giving himself to his family, friends and even strangers. He must learn to do this without expecting any reward or recognition. The true reward is the joy he will get in his life from helping others and being unselfish. The final reward is the what will happen when his life is over.
In Today’s World…
Men have allowed their influence to dwindle. The importance of a man, a husband and a father is tremendous. Men must be able to step up and fulfill these roles because they truly shape the fabric of our society. And women must allow a man to be a man, especially if he is stepping out to be a real one. I hope you guys find this insightful, especially the men out there.
Until next time…
Very interesting premise and concept, I must say. I’ve never thought about the passive part, and I might debate #4 a little bit, but the other 2 would definitely be on my list. The reason I might debate the last one is because when people constantly put others before themselves, they then get to use it as a crutch to not succeed or not have to deal with reality. I feel that there has to be a balance as to when to put others before you and when you need to take care of yourself first. Heck, even on an airplane they always tell you to put your own mask on first before assisting others; there’s a reason for that.
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Twitter: WaynesBNP
July 10, 2011 at 2:22 pm #
This is true. My point was that we should be unselfish. This does not mean that we should put aside our own personal goals and ambitions. What we learned is just that we should realize that we are put on earth to serve others and not only seek to serve ourselves.
Just think about this, if we all took the time to serve others, someone out there with be serving us
. You give your all to your wife and she should give it all to you.
I think both is possible. One can serve, but also rise to the top. In the Navy, I finally figured this out. By taking care of my junior Sailors, I got recognized as a good leader, which led to a promotion to Chief Petty Officer. It’s completely possible to be a servant and a leader, and be ambitious!
Very positive information and concepts that I have not seen in blog posts recently. I think you are correct when you say that men could be missing the point. I wonder if we would have the teen issues we have in society today if men behaved more in line with what you have listed and stepped up to the plate.
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Twitter: tempodulu
August 4, 2011 at 11:27 am #
Nice list but sometimes it’s easier said than done!
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Kudos for stepping up. I quite like this!
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October 9, 2011 at 12:00 pm #
Reading this makes my decisions easier than taking candy from a baby.
Wow! This is a very tough topic. Interesting view point.
Mr MakingUsmile
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